Softness is such a special quality. It is NOT to be confused with weakness. In a world that can be so harsh, demanding, challenging and exhausting, it is easy to forget about gentleness and softness and drop into hardness.
- Being too serious and taking life too serious, can create hardness.
- Getting stuck in your head and loosing connection to your heart, can cause hardness.
- Responding to demanding situations at work, can catapult you into toughness.
- Not enough time for yourself and self-care, definitely creates hardness.
I have been so hard with myself, – be it the inner critic, a fearful mind or on-going records of ‘not enough’ and ‘you are a failure’.
I have run too much male energy at times. I looked and dressed quite feminine, yet all my actions came from a place of tension. I did not know how to function differently. When things needed to get done, I rolled up my sleeves and put on my (male energy) SuperWoman Suit.
Sometimes I simply wanted to protect myself – against the world, difficult customers, pushy men.
There must have been times when I believed deep down that SOFTNESS equaled weakness.
Eventually my body responded. I grew a tumor in my belly. And it was hard.
I remember a time when my relationship with my business partners was falling apart and I had to run the school by myself. It was during the Berlin Film Festival. It was freezing cold. I felt overwhelmed with everything, especially all the requests of one demanding coach. One day after a full day of work, I decided to take a bath – to rest.
I leaned into the bathtub – just about to take a deep sigh and exhale when I noticed this bump in my belly. I completely freaked out. As I touched it, I realized my fibroid was making contact with me. All day I kept it together, pretended I was strong and had my shit together – when in fact, I did not. I wanted to curl up, cry and grief the situation that was happening.
In a nutshell (because I could write a book about it), this ‘hard’ muscle mass in my tummy became my teacher. It opened my heart. It connected me to my core, the center of my female organs. It showed me the way to my Essence of the Feminine.
I learned to become aware when hardness kicked in.
I learned to put my hands on my belly and breathe – as simple as that. I would breathe deeply in and out – as long as I needed until softness returned.
SOFTNESS – which today I call a TRUE POWER – a true power for everyone and especially women – is a gift. Softness means my body is relaxed. Softness means I live life from a place of trust. Softness is loving myself. Softness is slowing down. Softness has the potential to heal – bodies, conflicts, disputes.
Have you ever noticed what happens when one party in an argument remains open, receptive and soft?
Dearest reader, please feel inspired to share with me how SOFTNESS has supported you. Do you have an easy time with it? Or is it difficult to allow yourself to be soft?
sending tons of SOFTNESS, gentleness and kindness, Joya
©Text by Joya P. Gallasch/thegiftsofchange.org – Foto: artist unknown (thank you)