Dear One,
There was a moment of awe and sweetness inside of me.
And the realisation that at one piont I made a conscious choice to find my trust again.
I had edited stuff in my phone in the last few days and came across phone-calls to doctors that took place ‘before’ my operation. I remembered how full of fear, confusion and angst I was at this point. I did not know who would be my surgeon, which hospital to go to, I had no date and I certainly had lost my trust.
I looked at my phone, seeing these calls of the past and had a warm re-assuring feeling in my heart.
Everything that was unclear had become clear. I was on my way to recovery.
There was a moment of awe inside of me.
And the realisation that at one piont I made a conscious choice to find my trust again.
It was rather simple. After a night of panic, I decided to shift into a different reality. I sat down in my brother’s apartment. I was by myself. He spent the weekend and Monday – it was ‘Fasching’/Carnival in Germany where everybody celebrated wildly and had fun – with his girlfriend.
I sat and literally ‘made’ myself calm down. Every time a fearful thought arose, I witnessed it and asked it like a cloud on the sky to move across my mind without me getting stuck.
I connected to my breath, deeply breathing in and out. Everytime I got distracted and frazzled, I brought myself back to my conscious breath – like a mantra.
Then I remembered a practise (from the Oneness University Movement). A simple practise. I invoked my ‘personal divine’. I started to talk to my divine beloved. I shared all my burdens verbally as if I was talking to a dear friend. I ended my conversation with the following:
“I wish to pass on all burdens to you that I felt I needed to ‘figure out’. I know I don’t have to carry it all by myself.
Will you please take them and help me? Will you also please send me a sign?”
The sign referred to my choice of doctor. I had met with an older specialist, a man who had no social skills, yet the best reputation – and a younger, very dynamic, beautiful, heartful woman doctor with less experience.
I continued to sit in stillness and started to feel more relaxed and peaceful. Suddenly, probaby 20 minutes later, my iphone rang and I felt compelled to interrupt my meditation.
“Frau Gallasch,” a happy, determined female voice at the other end spoke, “here is Frau (Mrs) Kreuzer from the Taxis Frauen Klinik. I believe I have good news for you. There is an earlier appointment for you, on Feb 19. Somebody just cancelled and I thought of you.”
Wow.
There was my first sign. I had also prayed for an earlier appointment.
My choice, this meditation and phone-call shifted everything back to TRUST.
THE GIFT:
From this place of trust, the flow of life was activated again. The flow of life always wants to look out for our well-being. Now help, commitment and action steps showed up effortlessly.
The only promise I had to offer to myself:
“Daily meditations trusting the Divine and the divinity inside of myself.”
Dearest Reader, I wish this little share was helpful. Please feel inclined to share your experiences around trust. I am so curious to learn how trust has helped you?
sending tons of gratitude to you, Joya
©Text by Joya P. Gallasch/thegiftsofchange.org