I wish I could tell you that you will be spared deep emotional experiences when you go through a Natural Disaster. It is literally ‘mind-blowing’ when your home, environment, friends, animals, nature is swept up by fire, water, air or earth.
For me it is and was truly humbling to witness the force and power of the wildfire. I felt helpless and powerless. I was in awe and in complete terror at the same time. I was full of adrenalin and paralyzed by numbness.
The Ego and Mind wanted to DO and the experience was about BEING.
Here is what I discovered when my Summer Vacation in Mt Shasta was drowned in smoke for 3 weeks in August 2017.
The After Fire Effects called Depression come and go in waves. Of course a part of me hoped ‘I was over it’.
It is yet another opportunity to be and stay present to what is showing up.
Do I like it? Nope.
Does it feel pleasant? Absolutely not.
Does it feel it will last forever? Ja, when I am in it.
Do I trust it is a gift of some sort? Very much so.
Do I know it will pass once I felt it fully? Yes.
So I felt it. I sobbed. I felt lousy.
And I discovered a few new things:
Shasta was filled with sticky, yellow diarrhea beige smokey air which felt heavy and unbearable = like depression
I had a hard time to breathe = when the pain of depression gets too strong, it’s hard to stay with it and breathe
The wind blew like crazy = the inner winds of repressed feelings can cause a storm inside
All nature including the mountain disappeared behind a veil =
depression takes away any kind of vision.
It’s good to know that there is help:
Our amazing guidance tool of emotions, and the ability to feel them all.
This shall pass and it did! It always does when we meet it.
sending tons of gentleness, Joya
©Text by Joya P. Gallasch/thegiftsofchange.org